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Clean up

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Manuel Ebert 2016-08-19 23:23:14 +00:00
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tst/2015-09-10_i-am-back-from-burning-man.md
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title: I am back from Burning Man.
date: 2015-09-10 09:00
stared: False
tags:
There's a lot to process.
During the two weeks before the burn, I had sever anxiety issues - very physical symptoms; my chest felt constricted, my heart was pounding hard, my throat block, I was squashed between the walls. I think this anxiety has been building up since at least Australia, but now things got out of control.
In direct comparison, this year's burn was maybe a little less exciting than last year's. But I took two very important things from it:
1) a few days in, with no phone reception and nothing to plan or worry about, all of my anxiety symptoms vanished, and I felt light and free. It's not entirely intrinsic to me. Feeling better is possible, and it's close.
2) I started cultivating a wonderful friendship with Stef - who is currently dating Simon and Laurel, as a couple. Recap: Simon and Laurel were hitting on Lucy and me pretty hard at a dinner quite exactly a year ago. Small world.
I started a therapy before the burn, and yesterday was my second session. We dug through some of the anxiety that was related to my parents visiting SF. Here’s a realisation: my parents, especially my mother, never really valued academic achievements, and even half jokingly, half dismissively called me a “Streber” when I brought home straight As. I assume that this has to do something with her feeling inferior to my dad, but at any rate this was probably the point where I realised that their world and mine were different, and whatever I wanted to achieve I had to achieve myself.
I didn’t ask them for help until the day I broke up with Beth, two years ago.

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tst/2015-09-13_what-an-exciting-life.md
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title: What an exciting life!
date: 2015-09-13 09:00
stared: False
tags: kari
I spent the evening with @Kari, singing Dresden Dolls, drinking wine, falling a little bit in love, having sex on a piano, getting unintentionally electrocuted by her Hitachi, waking up next to a beautiful person.
And during the Burn I got a lot closer to Stef, too. Oh, life!

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tst/2015-09-19_a-part-of-me-wants-to-submit-itself-to-the-scintillating-haze-that-a-glass-of-wine-on-a-sun-drenched-afternoon-promises.md
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title: a part of me wants to submit itself to the scintillating haze that a glass of wine on a sun drenched afternoon promises.
date: 2015-09-19 13:00
stared: False
tags:
Another part wants to fight for clarity of mind.